Published Jan. 14, 2005
Teach children about strangers
When children reach school age, they begin to spend time away from their parents and primary caregivers. They need help in knowing how to deal with strangers. The old "do not take candy from strangers" precaution is not enough to keep them safe in today’s complex environments. What do they need to know?
• There are safe people. Children can go to certain designated strangers for help if they are lost or confused. These safe strangers include uniformed security guards, police and fire personnel, and store cashiers.
• There are safe places. Police and fire stations, customer services areas in stores, and mall security offices are examples of safe places. Parents can teach children where these specific places are located, especially in the stores that children visit most frequently.
• It helps to practice with a child what he/she should say to ask for help. In a moment of excitement or fear it helps a child to have practiced ahead of time the right words to use in describing what they need. This practice can happen while riding in a car or during a relaxed conversational time. "What would you say if you were lost and needed help?" "Where would you go if we were separated and you couldn’t find me?"
• Teach children that although children can ask certain safe adults for help, the situation is not reversible. Adult strangers should not ask children for help. If adult strangers need help, they can ask other adults. The reasoning behind this is that child molesters use the lure of asking children for help in order to get them separated from parents and friends. A common request is asking a child to help them find a lost pet or asking their opinion about a toy that they are buying for another child. Because children want to be helpful it is easy for them to fall for this type of ruse. In general, it works well to teach children to view adult strangers cautiously and to keep a safe distance from them.
• As in all other situations, teach children to follow their gut instincts. If they are uncomfortable in any exchange with a stranger they should get away immediately and tell their parents. The advice to YELL, RUN AND TELL needs to be in every child’s repertoire of responses. This advice is often taught in schools. It will be even more fully understood if children are also taught it at home.