Published May 20, 2005
Develop a safety plan
Working in the area of personal safety is a constant learning experience. Practical experience enables us to develop more effective tactics with which to deal with abusers. Here is an example of how tactics improve over time:
A few years ago it was popular for families to choose a "secret code word" to use in case of family emergencies. The idea was that the person who came to pick up a child in an emergency would say the secret code word. The child would conclude that this person was safe to go with because they knew the code.
Experience has shown that there are problems with this system. Children are friendly by nature and if a perpetrator is friendly in return perpetrators can easily learn the secret code word and use it later against the child.
Another problem originates in the fact that in a true emergency, children are excited, anxious and frightened. Under these circumstance, they forget the code altogether or become confused about it. The secret code word plan doesn’t work as well as its originators hoped it would.
Instead of the secret code word, current best practice recommends a "family plan of action."
Children and adolescents need to know what the family will do in the case of an emergency. How will they verify that an emergency has occurred? Whom will they call? Who are the relatives, neighbors or trusted adults who are authorized by the parents to step in and help? Where are safe places that they can go to get help answering these questions?
The family action plan needs to include the following concepts:
• Don’t go with someone just because they tell you that there has been an emergency.
• Don’t panic. There are safe people who can help you.
• Contact home by a phone call to make sure there really is an emergency.
• 911 is always available.
• Remember to follow your Family Plan of Action.