Published Aug. 12, 2005
Beware the lure of name recognition
Each person’s name is precious to them. We enjoy being called by name and recognized and associated with our family and our community by means of our name. This is a common human trait.
Merchandisers have capitalized on this. There are numerous shirts, hats, bracelets, backpacks, pencils and other objects personalized with names. Racks of these items are displayed at tourist shops and other stores frequented by families. They are particularly available during high travel seasons because tourists find them attractive souvenirs to bring home.
Unfortunately, child abusers are aware of the power of names. They use the name recognition lure.
It works like this: The abuser learns the name of the victim, first and last name if possible, first name if that is all that can be learned. This information is used to establish a bond with the victim. The abuser addresses the victim by name and adds information such as "I’m sure you remember me, Megan. We met at the barbecue. I am a friend of your mother’s from work."
The lure uses the child’s name and enough other correct detail to give the impression that the perpetrator is a family acquaintance or a friend of a friend.
How do children react to this approach? Children are quick to trust. They know that their parents have told them not to talk to strangers. This adult does not act like a stranger. He knows the child’s name as well as other facts about his or her family and activities. In the child’s mind, this adult can be trusted.
The abuser uses this entry wedge to establish further contact with the child. An abduction or a grooming process works much more easily with a trusting victim than with one who is suspicious and might make a fuss.
What defense is useful against the name recognition lure? Parents need to caution children to keep their names private. Children’s names should not be easily visible on jackets, lunch boxes, backpacks, water bottles and other personal items. If an item must be identified, the identifying mark needs to be placed inside or underneath where it will not be accessible to curious eyes.
Children need to be taught to admit to themselves that they don’t recognize a person and that it is OK to say, "No, I don’t remember you and my parents have told me not to talk to strangers."
A comment like this coupled with a quick exit is a safety precaution that children with sufficient maturity and judgment will be able to carry out. Better safe than sorry.