Editor’s Note: Provided by the archdiocesan Safe Environment Committee
Safety ideas for young children
How do we as parents keep young children safe from abuse?
Clearly, this is a worry faced by all parents. Young children tend to be loving and trusting. They lack both the experience and judgment to counteract the wily approaches of those who might want to harm them.
How do we teach our children what they need to know to be safe without frightening them or tarnishing their sense of wonder and joy?
A good place to start is to think about the way in which pre-school and kindergarten children look at the world. They are "here and now" thinkers. They live in the present. Emphasis on the past or future has little meaning for them.
Preschoolers are beginning to sense the joy of accomplishment. They are proud of what they can do for themselves and have already experienced the satisfaction of independence that continues into adolescence.
A third characteristic of young children is that they are literal "rule keepers." They are fascinated with rules and eager to show that they can follow them. What parent hasn’t run up against the challenge of not keeping a rule only to be reminded by their young child about what they did? For example, "But Dad didn’t wear his seatbelt today," or, "You didn’t wash your hands before you ate that cookie." The letter of the law is everything to the young child.
We can use the worldview of the child to help develop personal safety skills. Here are a few applications. A child even as young as 3 can be taught identification information. This includes the child’s full name, address, and phone number. The young child can also learn to dial "911" or "0" for the operator. It is best if this information is practiced frequently so that in a time of emergency the child is still able to remember it.
Children can learn the rule of keeping their caretaker well-informed about their whereabouts. This is another natural area of interest to the young child. Do the questions, "Where are you going?" or "What are you doing?" sound familiar?
Caretakers can tell the child that they are going to the mailbox, for example, and will be back in a minute. They can also make the rule that the child tell them where they are going when they leave the caretaker’s presence. It then becomes the child’s responsibility to inform the adult about comings and goings.
Young children enjoy doing this and it builds the habit early of letting someone know where they are going and when they will be back.
The "swimsuit rule" is another good one to teach early. Parts of the body that are covered by a swimsuit are called private parts. The rule is that no one should touch a child’s private parts or ask a child to look at or touch their private parts.
If the rule is broken by any adult, the child needs to tell someone right away. There are no secrets about the "swimsuit rule." In other words, even if the abuser tells the child that it is a secret, it is not a secret.
Young children can also learn the correct terms for all parts of their bodies. One small caution: Because preschoolers are literal thinkers, be sure to teach them that there are times that a nurse or caretaker might need to give them a checkup or a bath and these activities are allowed under the rule.
These are only a few of many ideas that can begin to teach the child the skills needed to live confidently and safely in a complex world. Parents are the best teachers of these ideas because as situations arise in daily living they can explain personal safety in a natural context that makes sense to the child. This teaching role is part of the blessing that God has given to us as parents.